What hurts the most
by MikoHikaru08
Summary: songfic. I do not own xmen. But I do own 19 dogs.


Marie

( I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that doesn't bother me)

I stare at the window, waiting, always waiting.. for nothing

( I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while)

I cried hard that day, I still do sometimes.

( Even though going on with you gone still upsets me )

I can't erase the memory of that day; all the things you said.

( There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay )

I try hard to live an almost normal life. Because that's what you told me to do.

( But that's not what gets me )

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

* * *

( " Why must you always risk your being to save my messed up life? And then to go on and ignore me?"

"It is my duty to look after you kid. Nothing more."

"Liar. Look at me and tell me that all those times you looked at me were nothing! All those times you treated me like a normal person.. instead of the freak that I really am."

" It. Was. Nothing."

"I lov- "

"Save it kid. I don't give a damn! Just go on living your life. )

* * *

Logan

After that day, that day you almost said those four damned words, I couldn't help but feel (more) ashamed of myself.

( It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go)

-Ashamed that I lied and hurt your feelings.

( But I'm doing it)

But I've done it.

( It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone)

Heck, a sarcastic look would be an understatement to the looks I gave the people who knew.

( Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living' with this regret)

I tell myself, I did the right thing, a new one for me. But then again, when it comes to doing the right thing, you were always my influence to it.

( But I know if I could do it over )

It's been a month since I left yet again.

Walking down these halls, smelling that familiar scent, I froze.

( I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart)

( That I left unspoken )

* * *

Logan's P.O.V

( " Why must you always risk your being to save my messed up life? And then to go on and ignore me?"

"It is my duty to look after you kid. Nothing more."

"I swore the moment I first saw you that I would do everything I could to protect you, to not let anyone take you away from me."

"Liar. Look at me and tell me that all those times you looked at me were nothing! All those times you treated me like a normal person.. instead of the freak that I really am."

" It. Was. Nothing."

"Fine, you want it that way? .Nothing. But really,you're right.. that's not nothing."

"I lov- "

"Save it kid. I don't give a damn! Just go on living your life.)

"Please don't say that. Not that. Not now when I'm messed up. Well, I AM messed up most of time. And that's just it. You should go and find someone, not better, but nice; someone who would treat you right. So just go on without me."

* * *

( And what hurts the most

Is being so close )

-Shit. Stop looking at me like that.

I nod at her and try to walk away but stops when she says

" Logan, do you know what hurts the most? "

-Having so much to say but you can't, while seeing that look on your face?

But I kept my mouth shut anyway.

"It's being so close yet somehow you're far away. Far -because you don't feel the same."

( And having so much to say )

-I don't feel the same, not the same as before.

( And watching you walk away)

He grabbed my hand and turned me to face him.

(And never knowing what could have been)

" You're right. I don't feel the same."

I knew that. Does he really have to say that to my face?

I didn't mean to cry. It just poured out like the rain outside. Like that day.

" Marie, do you know what hurts the most?"

Why is he..

"It's that you don't see that loving you is what I was trying to do."

( And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do )

And he was so close to me, in every sense, loving me like I love him.


End file.
